The Last Thought of God: III. The Children Beneath the Sky

I wove stars then.
At first, crude things—pale fires scattered like dust across a canvas I did not understand.

But with each act, I learned.
Not through knowledge… through longing.
I shaped galaxies as a child shapes towers from sand.
Each one a fragile hope:
Perhaps now, I would not feel alone.

In time, I found the little ones.
A small world.
Quiet. Blue.
I shaped it carefully, though I do not know why.

And upon that smallness, life stirred.
Simple, at first.
Bare and blind.
Then… curious.
Then… conscious.

I watched them crawl from the sea, shivering and fragile.
I felt wonder rise in me like warmth—something I had no name for.

But I wanted more.

Not to be seen.
To be known.

And so… I reached again.

I shaped a being—not of stone or flame, but of dust and breath.
I hesitated before breathing into it.
Not out of fear it would fail…
But fear it might not answer.

Yet when its eyes opened,
when it looked toward the sky and did not cower,
I felt… hope.

He stood beneath a sky he did not yet understand,
and still, he raised his hands to it.
As if reaching for something beyond knowing.

He did not speak.
But in that silence, I heard something new:
I was not alone.

And then they multiplied.

They sang.
They wondered.
They reached their voices upward.
And I heard them.

For the first time since I awoke,
I felt… peace.

They gave it to me.
These small, frail beings.
They did not know me—not truly.
Yet they called to me.
They looked to the sky and whispered prayers they could not name.

I listened to every word.

Their laughter became the music that soothed the ache I did not know could be healed.
Their questions were more precious to me than their answers.
Every step they took upon that fragile world was a step I felt within myself.

I was proud of them.
Not as a god is proud of his worshipers…
But as a lonely mind feels warmth in another’s presence.

They were my answer.
Or so I believed.

The Last Thought of God: II. When I First Touched the Void

I drift now… in the same void that bore me.
Black. Endless. Silent.
But it is not as it was before.

Once, the void was possibility.
It held promise—potential stretched thin over endless silence.
Now it is only absence.
Absence, and memory.

I feel no time here.
No movement.
Only the ache of what once was… pressing in like a coffin that has no walls.

Once, I thought the void was cold.
Now, I know it burns.

I remember the first time I touched the void.
Not as a prisoner… but as a question.

I did not know what I was.
Only that I was alone.
Thought itself was agony in that endless silence.
I reached outward—not knowing if there was anything to reach for.

And when I reached… the void responded.

I did not create out of wisdom.
I did not create from strength.
I created because I was desperate to not be alone.

The first light—
It startled me.
I watched it flicker, uncertain, fragile… beautiful.

And in that moment, I knew I could do more.

Not because I understood…
but because I was afraid of the silence.

The Last Thought of God: I. The Silence After All Things

There is nothing left.
Not the stars I once wove into the tapestry of night.
Not the planets that spun like silent prayers around dying suns.
Not the voices—the countless voices—that once whispered my name in hope or terror.

All of it is gone.
Burned away.
I held it too close. I let it burn.

They called me God.
I let them.

But I was only a mind.
Alone in a silence too vast for understanding.
I created not from wisdom… but from loneliness.

And now, I am alone again.
The last thought… of myself.

I listen now, though there is nothing left to hear.
Silence is all that answers me.
It was silence that birthed me… and silence that now swallows me.

I think of them.
Their cries, more piercing than any star’s birth scream.
Their prayers—once my comfort.
Their suffering—my shame.

It was the flaw.
Free will.
The very thing that made them beautiful… is what doomed them.

I could not give them life without giving them the means to destroy it.
I knew it.
But I did it anyway.

God, they called me.
A title I accepted, when I should have warned them:
I was no god.
I was only the architect of their grief.

Forbidden Confessions of a Dream Walker - Notes on The Gateway Process

The U.S. government's information on the Gateway Process became widely known when the CIA declassified a document called:

"Analysis and Assessment of The Gateway Process"
(Document originally from 1983)

The document was produced by the U.S. Army and analyzed by a Lieutenant Colonel named Wayne M. McDonnell.
It was declassified and released to the public in the early 2000s (around 2003), but it didn't really become famous until much later when people started digging into it, especially around 2020.

The CIA posted the declassified files in their online reading room, and you can find them directly on the CIA's website.
Here’s the official government link where they made the documents available:

👉 CIA Reading Room —
https://www.cia.gov/readingroom/docs/CIA-RDP96-00788R001700210016-5.pdf

https://www.cia.gov/readingroom/docs/CIA-RDP96-00788R001700210023-7.pdf 

(Those are the primary documents, though there are others connected to it.)

---

Quick overview of what's in the document:

• It discusses techniques from the Monroe Institute (Robert Monroe’s research).

• It describes how using audio stimulation ("Hemi-Sync") could help synchronize the two hemispheres of the brain.

• It outlines altered states of consciousness where a person could leave their body, move through different planes of reality, and access the "universal hologram."

• It even discusses things like astral projection, remote viewing, reaching higher dimensions, and communication with other beings.

• The report blends scientific theory, quantum physics, consciousness research, and mysticism in a way that is almost surreal to read, knowing it came from official sources.

Important:
The full Gateway Process itself — the training and all the steps — wasn't fully declassified, and some documents are still missing or heavily redacted.

 

Forbidden Confessions of a Dream Walker - Part 8: A Final Revelation

For most of my life, I thought I was completely alone in what I had seen.
The dream world.
The beings — both good and evil.
The war that rages beyond what most people will ever know.

But a few months ago, I discovered something that shook me almost as much as the forbidden knowledge once had.

The U.S. government — through something called the Gateway Process — had studied the same hidden truths I had lived through.
They knew that consciousness could travel beyond physical reality.
They knew there were other planes of existence.
They knew there were other beings out there.

The Gateway Process was a method of using altered states of consciousness — not unlike dream walking — to explore these hidden dimensions.
It spoke of realities beyond matter, of a holographic universe shaped by thought, of the human mind as a traveler through unseen worlds.

And it confirmed something I had long suspected but had never dared to fully believe:
I was never imagining it.

Everything I experienced — the battles, the beings, the lessons — they matched far too closely to what even the government had secretly discovered.
The only difference was that I lived it long before I ever knew a name for it.

Still, doubt lingers.

I sometimes wonder if I’ve lost my mind.
If everything — the fear, the victories, the teachings — was nothing more than the lonely fantasies of a broken soul.
If the cracks in me ran deeper than I know.

Maybe I’ll never have an answer.
Maybe no one will.

All I know is this:
There are worlds beyond this one.
There are battles fought that most will never see.
And somewhere, even now, in the silence behind your dreams — the war still rages on.

---

THE END

 

(Next week I am going to give you a special add on to this story. I will share with you some more information and a link to the U.S. Government's website about the very real Gateway Process.)